All of us have cracks.
Some of us have cracks in our foundations that make life unbearable and require intervention before we “collapse” in a pile of rubble. But all of us have cracks in our facade. These do not usually keep us from supporting ourselves, or moving forward with our goals or expectations. They often lay dormant, part of what makes us who we are. They are the scars of past wounds and experiences, wrong non-foundational beliefs, or remembrances of words that cut us or affect our decision making. They don’t always get tested and tried. And often, they are the areas the mind had built up the greatest amount of extra support. But today, I had to face a crack in the facade, one I didn’t realize was very thin and weak; I cried as I faced it. The person who brought it up had no idea that their “simple” request would leave me an emotional wreck as I fulfilled it. I fell apart when I was alone, not wanting anyone else to see how weak and vulnerable I was in this one tiny area.
To most of the people who know me, they will say I am one of the most confident people they know. And that is what I love to do, help others develop their own high level of confidence. But today, you would not have seen that side of me. You would have seen the struggle, the pain, of facing a wound that was opened afresh, innocently enough, but still reopened; a scar that I thought was healed and insignificant. It required me to go so far out of my comfort zone that tears streamed down my face at completing a simple, painless act, embarrassed and humiliated at my over reaction.
Sometimes, cracks in the facade are simply that – the designs of life that make you who you are. Sometimes, those cracks have to be repaired. It may be as simple as a little extra spackle to support it. It may mean a complete repair job, removing everything around the crack and filling it in with new, better materials. Executives and business owners often have the most difficulty admitting they need a part of their lives, or themselves, “fixed,” because they’ve been able to cope and succeed anyway. But just like a great house, no matter how good the foundation is, you’ve got to do maintenance on the rest of it too.
Today I realized I need a major repair job to fix this crack. It won’t take long, but it will take action. I took the first step today. How about you?